The Average Angry New York City Walker

One of the most amazing things about the most amazing city in the world is the ability to walk for hours and see every type of person out and about doing things that seem to only happen in New York City.

But there are a number of incredibly annoying things that make these walks harder than then should be.

My pet peeve these days is the walking dead, they seem to have become more prevalent over the last few months, and I believe I understand why. There are four classes or these zombies out there on the streets, and they can be differentiated by the make of brain they are carrying, Apple, Android, Blackberry and Microsoft. What they all have in common is that they all walk slowly, stopping in the middle of sidewalks, crossings and particularly right on the corner of streets looking down at the lump of glass in between their thumbs. Like all zombies these are entirely brain-dead, and uncommunicative and have a distinct slow shuffle with their feet hardly rising above the level of the stone.

There has been a lot of activity my action groups to stop these zombies from driving, but I think we need a campaign to stop them from walking while smart phoning. A friend of mine has suggested on numerous occasions making use of electrified cattle prods to fix the issue. I can see a lot of merit in this idea, and while the police may not agree recent SCOTUS decisions suggest that if a case of prodding a phone zombie were ever to get before them it may elicit a surprising result.

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