When did baby carriages and strollers start to come outfitted like Bradley Fighting Vehicles being reinforced for DMZ combat? Do we really need strollers with, “coil spring and elastomer core shock absorbers and pneumatic tires with schrader valves?”
These tricked out behemoths are taking over our sidewalks (which are already made smaller because every bar, deli and diner now has a Frenchie style “sidewalk café” table or two in front). The last time I checked they were still called sideWALKs, not sideSITs and they certainly weren’t designed for NASCAR-style stroller racing by Manhattan mommies in their sparkling Skechers Shape-ups.
I thought I had seen it all in the strollers as monster trucks category but I was wrong. I’ve now also seen a triple decker model as well… that’s right, a double stroller with a 3rd crow’s nest seat bolted on above the double (I would assume that the kid that gets that “pole position” spot earned it at potty training time-trial qualifying).
What’s next? Motorized baby cycles with sidecars à la Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz from Hogan’s Heroes? I sincerely hope that just by saying that I haven’t inspired Vespa or BMW to enter the fray.
Update: Since my first battles with these combat-ready baby and toddler tanks that were imported from NJ or Long Island a new menace has been added to the war zone – it is called “Giggle” and it produces all manner of sidewalk carnage-causing machines in my own freaking neighborhood!
This cannot stand! We must rise up and take back our sidewalks or who knows what is next! Who’s with me?